Still waiting...

Thanks to all those who have checked in and wondered how I was doing. I am still pregnant!! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and hopefully we can talk about about an induction date if I don't go into labor soon. I'll be 36 weeks on Thursday, January 1st. My OB didn't think I'd make it this far...what a testimony to the power of prayer! Phil would love it if the babies came in the next couple of days so we can get our tax deductions. I would love for them to come this week, because Phil has to go back to school next week and then things get crazy! I am completely off of bedrest, off of all meds, and not having many contractions--go figure! So now, will you please pray that I go into labor SOON?? I promise I will keep you updated on the blog if anything happens, otherwise we are still here, still waiting...

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas...we did! Check back for pictures!
Love,
Esther, Phil, Allison, Bailey, and Bennett

Home

It was sort of surreal to actually leave the hospital yesterday and take my first breath of outside air in six weeks! Phil and I got to go to my staff Christmas party and had a fun time, even winning some awesome white elephant gifts!

We are now back in Dallas at my sister's house, and although it is not HOME home, I am super grateful that we are all together again. Allison was SO excited to see us today, and we had a sweet time playing with her. Since Phil has two weeks off for his Christmas break, we will all stay here. Hopefully the babies will be born the week after next while he's still on break, otherwise he'll go back to Arlington and Allison and I will stay in Dallas until the twins arrive.

I'm doing great and have everything I need for me and the babies whenever we go back to the hospital, this time for delivery! I am so thankful to be "home," and hoping I don't go into labor this week so I can spend Christmas with my family.

Hallelujah!

Sorry for taking so long to post...there were really no updates this week, as I was just doing the same old, same old in my hospital bed.

BUT, every Thursday marks another week that I've stayed pregnant, PLUS it just so happens to be sonogram day. And TODAY, I am THIRTY-FOUR WEEKS!!!!!! AND...my sonogram showed that there has been no change from the last two weeks and thus considered stable! Can you hear the strains of the "Hallelujah Chorus" in the background like I can??

I haven't talked to my doctor yet, but she has said that if my sono was the same this week, I could be discharged from the hospital. Yippee!! They are going to take me off the turbutaline pump that has been giving me a constant dose of meds to keep my contractions in check and start me on oral meds that will hopefully do the same thing. If that goes well, I can go home tomorrow (well, to my sister's house). Both babies are still head down, which is another miracle!

Oh I am just so overjoyed and thankful to God that I have made it this far. Psalm 126 has been so precious to me through the trials we've endured in the last few years, and even particularly during this hospital stay. It "happens" to be the psalter reading for THIS week in THIS year's Advent lectionary cycle:

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us, and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy, carrying their sheaves.

We have certainly sown our share of tears, but oh what a harvest we are reaping now. This has been my constant song:
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!"

Our sweet babies could come any day now. Yikes and hallelujah...I'm soon going to be the mother of TWINS!! Keep up the prayers!

33 weeks and we have hair!

Praise the Lord, I'm 33 weeks pregnant today! I had another sonogram this morning, and I'm so thrilled to report that there has been no change since last week! Dr. Magee also showed me that Bennett has a lot of hair--so cute! He couldn't quite tell with Bailey since she was so low, but I'm sure she has a ton too, because Allison was born with a full head of hair. In fact, she had so much hair all over her body that we called her our Monkey Girl! I am really feeling like I'm in the home stretch of my hospital stay, and possibly the pregnancy. If I'm still stable next Thursday, my doctor is letting me go home. Seven. More. Days. Blessedly, these last five weeks, though long, have gone faster than I thought they would.

Thank you for all the prayers! We know they have been sustaining me and the twins. One more week, and after that, if I go into labor they won't try to stop it. I'm still praying we make it past 35 weeks. Christmas Day is 35 weeks, and though it would be fun for the babies to share Jesus' birthday, it does sort of make it hard on a minister's schedule each year. But I am trusting that God knows the day they'll be born, just like he knows how many hairs are on their sweet little heads!

Still going...

I made it through the weekend! Just a few more days until Thursday and I'll be 33 weeks. Then one more week after that, and hoping to go home! I've been in the hospital for almost five weeks, and the stress of it on Phil and Allison is beginning to show. He is weary, his patience is growing thin. Allison has inconsolable screaming fits some days. We are really ready to be a family in the same house again. Pray for endurance in these last weeks...oh, and that I'll still stay pregnant!

That's the way the cookie crumbles

I just received a giant tin of Mrs. Field's mini-cookies sent from my dear minister friends (thanks, Spirited Charlenes!). My hospital room has gotten the reputation of being the one with all the sweets because friends keep bringing cookies and brownies--not only for me, but also to share with the staff. "Nurse bribes," as one friend called them, "so they'll take good care of you." Normally I just eat a couple, but I confess I've just eaten 6! Eating my emotions, you ask? No, they're just really delicious!

However, I was hoping to report today that I was still stable and being released from the hospital. Unfortunately, my sonogram this morning showed a pretty major change--my cervix is now almost completely effaced and I am 1-2 cm dilated. Basically, my body is holding these babies in by a thread! Sooooo, the waiting game continues. My OB isn't confident I'll make it two more weeks to 34 weeks. She said, "Let's just try to make it through the weekend!" But if I do go into labor, they will still do all they can to stop it, including putting me on the dreaded Magnesium. Needless to say, I am standing up as little as possible! Don't worry, if anything happens, we will update our blog. In the meanwhile, I'm still in my grand suite of Hoblitzelle 313 at Baylor. Feel free to call or visit!

The good news is, I made it to 32 weeks, which is still great. AND, the babies are both head down, which means if they stay that way, I may not have to have a c-section! I'm really praying they stay that way! Actually, the babies are "oblique", which means they are sort of lying diagonally. That explains why the left side of my belly bulges out more than the other. Did I tell you that we have names? Bailey and Bennett. Now we can pray for them by name. Both babies are about 4 pounds each...way to go babies! Guess I better go eat more cookies...

Choo Choo!

Advent Reflections

Advent means coming. In the church calendar, it is the four weeks before Christmas when we are invited to slow down and prepare our hearts for the coming of our Lord. The last few years, I have been really challenged to resist our consumeristic culture and the pressure to buy "stuff" for Christmas. To be honest, I haven't been completely successful. But I found this cool site the other day of others who are also trying to make Advent and Christmas more meaningful this year by keeping the focus on Christ. Their challenge is for me and you to buy one less gift this year and give that money to those in need. And rather than just buying more stuff for our family and friends, they ask us to consider giving relational gifts--the gift of our time. Check out Advent Conspiracy! Below is something I wrote for an Advent devotional. I hope that you will take time this Advent to truly prepare your heart for Jesus.

“He reached down from on high, he took me; he drew me out of mighty waters…He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:16, 19

Advent is about waiting. I admit I am not good at waiting. I am a very impatient person. When a car in front of me is driving below the speed limit, or the check-out line at the grocery store is stalled because of a price check, I get frustrated. Having to wait seems to be a waste of my time. But the season of Advent reminds me that in God’s kingdom, waiting is a holy practice.

There are many times in life when we have to wait, not knowing the outcome of our waiting. As I enter this Advent on unexpected bedrest, I am uncertain if my babies will be born early and face health risks. Others may be in a time of waiting because a diagnosis for a serious illness was given, a job was lost, a relationship was hurt, or because the economy turned sour. Like the psalmist, we may feel like we are drowning in mighty waters, wondering how long we have to wait until we are rescued from our situation.

It is not the waiting that is holy, but how we wait. Advent reminds us that we have a Savior who came down from heaven to deliver us from sin. But because we still live in a world that is full of evil, we are waiting and trusting that Jesus will come again in final victory to rescue us once and for all. We can wait with hope, putting our faith in the One who promises to bring us out into a broad place because he delights in us.

This kind of waiting—with hope and expectation that God will keep his promises—teaches us patience. It tests our faith. It spurs us on to work toward the vision of God’s future kingdom. Most of all, it grows our love for our Savior who is with us in the midst of our waiting. This Advent, practice holy waiting. Instead of impatience and frustration, wait with hope and expectation, trusting in the Lord, our rock, our fortress, our deliverer, our God in whom we take refuge!

31 Weeks and Counting...

I'm still here in the hospital, still pregnant! Thanksgiving Day marked 31 weeks of pregnancy...praise God!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and had much to be grateful for this year. Phil's mom and sister came to Dallas last weekend to celebrate an early Thanksgiving with us. It was wonderful to see them and to have Allison get to know them better. Phil got his new grill that weekend also, so they had a scrumptious meal of steak, salmon, and crab. I'm sure they were thinking of me in the hospital when they were chowing down!

On Thanksgiving, I had hospital food turkey for lunch. If you didn't know, hospital food is not the greatest. But even so, every meal I have here, I truly give thanks, because I know there are lots of people who don't have food to eat. Some of those people are right outside my window, around the corner. Baylor is in downtown Dallas, and there are more than a few homeless folks walking the streets, wondering where their next meal is going to come from. So I don't take for granted the abundance of food available to me. My mom and dad cooked a Korean rib feast and brought it up to the hospital on Thursday night. Sarah, Jun, Gracie, Phil, and Allison came to join in on our non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner (they had already had turkey and all the trimmings for lunch)!

Things with me are the same, but I'm really longing to go home. Only three more weeks until I'm 34 weeks, and although it feels like an eternity, I am hopeful because my doctor said I could go home then. Just in time for Christmas! Phil and I took a tour of the NICU yesterday and saw the tiniest babies on ventilators. So sad! Thankfully our babies won't be that small, but it made me even more determined to pray that they make it to at least 34 weeks before they are born. What a miracle and gift if they didn't have to spend any time in the NICU at all! Thanks for reading along and praying with us on this journey!

Belly Pics

I kept meaning to take some pictures of me pregnant with the twins, but sadly, I never got around to it. My friend Andrea was so kind to snap some shots of me and Allison when she came to the hospital to visit last week. Allison loves to pat my belly and hug the babies. Here I am at 29 weeks!

30 Weeks, 1 Day

I meant to post yesterday, but I couldn't connect to the internet at the hospital...that made for a long day!

Yesterday marked my 30th week of pregnancy, and I had my weekly sonogram to see the babies and check my cervical length. The babies are doing well and are very active. Twin B, the boy, is head down, while Twin A, his sister, is still breech. Still praying that both will turn head down! Already I'm detecting hints of their personalities. Our son seems to be laid back, just like his daddy. His heart rate is usually a few beats slower than hers, and on more than one occasion, the nurses have wanted me to drink something sweet to "wake him up" so that they can see he has good movement. Let's hope this little boy is a good sleeper!

Little Miss, on the other hand, is a bit fiesty, just like her older sister Allison. It must be the girls in our family! She kicks me the most, and each day when it's time to put them on the monitor for 20-30 minutes, the nurses have learned that she's the difficult one. They can usually find her heartbeat easily, but she's such a wiggle worm that they often have to come back and find it again because she has moved. Oh, Lord help us!

As for me, there has not been much change from last week, which is good because the doctor considers me "stable." I did see on the sonogram that my cervix is funneling a lot, which I didn't realize before. They did another fetal fibronectin test and I was so hopeful it was negative. The FFN test, if negative, gives me a 95% chance that I won't go into labor in the next two weeks. If positive, it's not that helpful, because I may or may NOT go into labor, plus sometimes it can be a false positive. Unfortunately, my FFN test came back positive. That means I'm definitely staying in the hospital. My OB said she was not surprised, but she was hopeful that I'd make it for two more weeks, at least.

Join us in praying that I stay pregnant for two more weeks, and then two more weeks after that. If I make it to 34 weeks, my doctor is considering letting me go home!!

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!